As I continue, chasing for the right one, right partner, right love, I am amenable that there is always that bad times when I even forgot who I am, what I can, and how much I could do and yes, at one point I chose to be in those gloomy days. Knowing it was what made me happy, to love someone and hoping to catch the same in return.
Today, I say “thank you” to all those people who never stop listening to all my dilemma each and every time I am at my most melting point. You may not know how much your words mean to me, as it shows your worry and auspices in this undefying odyssey. I have learned a lot from you, as I have learned more than enough from the mistakes, the “too much giving and getting nothing” engagements and dark-shadowed relationships. I am all open to you because I know, I cannot make it on my own. I shared with you my lonesome nights, tragic moments in every downfall I was into. Some would tell me to stop, as they know what would possibly happen. And all of you saw how I was during those moments and I thank you a lot for always being there for me.
But in this existence…. we all know, we need to be strong and learn from our aberrations … mistakes make us good and if not, a better and stronger person…These are the best teachers we could ever have; it is then we can fend off doing the same thing which made us down and shattered before.
This affair I have with Ace, maybe, has no final direction, no final destination nor has blurry future waiting for us… unsure about what awaits for the both of us…but no one would know what’s on the other side, unless you try to take a glimpse and hope for the best things to work…
I feel so jubilant and overwhelmed that this time, I have nothing to hide…we have nothing to withhold. We’re both free to show and tell to people that “YES, OO, UYAB MI” (Yes, we are on) without considering other people’s thoughts and things they would have to say because what’s important, is “US”… our thoughts for each other, the caress we longed from each other and the feeling that we feel unprecedentedly.
Unlike with my past relationships, that only me and my partner knows what we have and what we are…everything was limited, taking precautions that no one should know about us. A feeling that was wrong for him, was oh so right for me, but I cannot express. Everything was hidden.
This one i have now, with him. I can say, we both know how it feels to be taken for granted… thus, making us both feel and realize as to when and how to need each others time and support, financially, morally and emotionally. Funny it may sound but in fact, he was the very first partner who gave me 100 pesos worth of cellphone load… it might just be a “THAT” which we know anyone can afford…
But knowing it was my first time… who cares? que significa mucho para mí… (it means alot to me)